Realization
by ss6445
Summary: sequel to let me fall I heard that they came back 1 moth after I left They came home the day after my memorial service Heartbreaking No? To arrive home after a mission that was so long to learn your teammate has died And you were to late R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto nor do i own cirque du soliel ( - please read note bottom regarding song)

_Let Me Fall_

_by SS6445_

* * *

_Falling... Me caigo(I fall)_

Sakura POV

I heard that they came back. 1 moth after I left, and 13 from the day I was declared KIA. They came home the day after my memorial service. Heartbreaking. No? To arrive home after a mission that was so long, to learn your teammate has died. And you were to late….well its not like they would have known they were to late for me to leave rather they were to late even for her to be buried. Too late. But that is just what I heard. Now it has been half a year since I have last saw Konoha. I've settled quite nicely near the border of mist and leaf. I don't have many friends; the people in the village respect me for medical skills but otherwise are wary of me. I hear them whisper behind my back on how they can see my traumatic past in my eyes, making them shudder. I don't blame them, I'm sure I would have done the same thing years ago.

The one companion I do have is Megumi, a retired kunoichi from Konoha, who helped guard the border years ago. She knows of my situation, and is actually the only one who knows. I trust her with my life. And she keeps me updated on the happenings of the ninja world, that's how I know what day they came back, when I was declared "dead" and all the other things. But my life here near the border is comfortable and I can say that I'm slowly relearning how to smile.

Megumi constantly tells me I should go back. Go back. I wish I could, but I don't think I can right now. I do want to see them, I really do. But I can't, just not now, later. I am truly too weak, if I were to see them now I would try to reach out to them again, and that would just lead to another broken heart. They are all too reckless, and that is what will be their down_fall_. They will die, and unlike me they cannot seemingly reappear from the dead.

_Fall of an angel..._

Naruto POV

She is gone, they brought back her body. Half a year later and I'm still in shock. I thought she would wait for us to return home, but I suppose death doesn't wait for anyone. Especially in ninja communities he must be running on a pretty tight schedule. In the end I reacted terribly to the news. I mean really who would believe it. She died from a rouge ninja attack. Given they were at a jounin level, but still with her inhuman strength I thought she would stand a better chance against him. But from the reports it did say that she was outnumbered, but at the very least she killed one of those bastards. Shino, Kakashi-sensei, Yamato, Sai, and Sasuke…they all were expressionless. But I suppose that was to be expected, everyone else reacted in some way, even Neji. It was barely visible but I saw his eyes slightly widen. He reacted dammit! Why didn't that bastard Sasuke? I know he was looking forward to seeing Sakura! Whenever I brought her up, his aura would slightly soften, hell if I can tell that means he REALLY likes her. I finally thought that I would fulfill my promise to her. Then again a promise is a promise, whether it be to a 12 year old genin or a corpse.

Sakura…..did you know I try to visit the memorial at least once a week. To just talk, keep you updated on things. But I suppose its pretty stupid doing this, but I really did help me through. Sasuke-teme, he really does miss you too. Sometimes I see him staring at the sakura trees, even though its winter…but I guess in this situation its appropriate. Nothing lasts forever.

_You can see the fall..._

Sasuke POV

Haruno Sakura. Dead. Who knew that I would ever have feelings for her. Her, the happy one of team 7, the one we always protected. The weak one….no she was not the weak one she was able to say what I never got the chance to say. Nor will I ever get the chance to say. All I can do is say sorry.

_You're felling high... _

Sakura POV

I have never forgotten my home. Konoha. Its been 4 years since…Megumi recently visited family there. She said that she saw Naruto, Sasuke, Sai and the rest of them. Naruto is now the hokage and his face carved on the mountain. Like all things in life, they move on. Naruto is married to Hinata, Shikamaru is with Ino, Neji and TenTen. And all the others of the rookie 12 have found someone. With the exception of Sasuke and I. I know my reasoning, I am still in love with him. Simple as that. As much as I don't want to admit it. Its true. I love him. But he wasn't or I suppose isn't known as the human icecube for nothing, although I heard he has gotten a new nicknames from none other than Naruto, my personal favorite Sasuke-chan! I must say Naruto is very lucky that the hokage is the one who gives out the missions for Sasuke's ANBU branch. But life for them is supposedly normal, and happy. One day soon I will visit them, because they most likely have forgotten me, rather I'm in the back of their minds, hidden underneath more current and urgent matters.

I am happy for them, they have moved on, but so have I, I can smile once again. But I do have to visit Konoha before it is to late….

_Yo estoy dentro de las sombras (I am in the shadows)_

It was dead in the night when it happened. An attack from the mist. I was drained from chakra, because I healed one of the elders. Of course my skills were lacking, for I haven't used them in years. The attack consisted of a few most likely jounin level ninjas. They were all killed by the Konoha shinobi, but first I was struck by a poisoned senbon. The poison is unique. It attacks your cells and merges with your DNA and slowly will kill you. I maybe one of the strongest medics alive, but there is no way I can heal something like this, maybe if I still lived in Konoha, they might have a way. But my life has been filled with peace these last few years. And I am happy; its true running away all those years ago was cowardly. Do I regret it? No. Was it stupid of me doing that? Definitely. Still the most important thing is that I found peace. I've matured, I can smile once again, and I can think of them with no ill feelings. I believe if I stayed in Konoha, they would not have suffered from seeing me dead, but rather of seeing a completely different me that would have tainted their views of the innocent little Sakura.

To once again satisfy my selfish needs, I will return.

_When you kiss the earth_

_Angel of your mind I'm blowing_

Kakashi POV

Team 7…each member has memories that would be best if forgotten, but from those painful memories comes strength. Naruto from being ignored decided to be the Hokage, and has accomplished that goal, and a minority of the village dislikes him for having a demon sealed within him. Sasuke, the Uchiha massacre effectively killing the once innocent boy. Me and my past mistakes, trying to fix them and instill teamwork in team 7. It partially worked, but all fell apart to come back together again…..almost. But there is one piece missing. The heart of the team, Sakura. She was ignored by the one she loved, and her parents killed when we were away retrieving him. She was abandoned, but grew to die. One more person I couldn't protect. And years later I still mourn all your deaths: Obito, Rin, Asuma, Sakura….

How I wish we can all see you one more time. To see your beautiful smile that would light up the room, to see what your boys have accomplished.

_Dentro de tus sueños más profundos (Deep within your dreams)  
Yo te oigo, me llamas (I hear you, you call me)_

Sakura POV

I once said that I would never look back, but here I am looking at the gates I didn't think I would see again. Megumi is with me, she insisted that she came with me just incase I had one of my attacks. But I think she just wanted to come to try to convince me once more to stay, and how did she put it 'spend my last days in peace and at home, and at the very least indirectly by all those I love' or loved. Her arguments increase in appeal everyday, but still I feel that if I did that, my fleeing would all be in vain. Maybe it was in vain to begin with, because here I am looking in the village that caused me so much pain, caused me to grow, caused me to fall back into reality.

_Me ves cayendo (You see me falling) _

Already I can see the changes, some of the buildings have been repainted, renovated or they don't look even remotely the same. Familiar faces walk by, no recognition in their eyes, it almost feels like a dream of my past. Or I'm a ghost, they pass without seeing me.

_Me caigo (I fall)_

_Falling_

The first place I want to go is to the hero's memorial. That will be the reminder of why I cannot run out to these people. They don't know me. To them I am just an unfamiliar face to be seen and forgotten in the same second. Megumi looks worriedly at me, but I tell her that she can go to her friends' house and I have some personal business to attend to. To prove why I don't fit in anymore.

_Vivo dentro de tu espíritu (Alive within your spirit)  
Fall of an angel  
Latiendo dentro de tu corazón (Beating of your heart)_

But walking in that direction I can see Naruto's face on the mountain, I can see the changes. He looks older more mature. I know that he is happy with Hinata despite his slightly frowning appearance, I can remember him pulling pranks and defiling those faces all those years ago. Before I know it, it's here with my name carved in its granite surface. My reminder that this is not my life anymore, remember they have moved on. But if I know this why is my heart pounding?

_You can see the fall ... angel..._

Even if I did say I was the Haruno Sakura who died years ago, they would give me strange looks, because Sakura didn't have black hair, nor was she as tall as I am now. Most importantly she does not possess the cold jade eyes I do.

Clouds start to gather, as do my thoughts

As the first drop falls…..

_In your deepest dreams  
Sufriendo, Fluyendo dentro de ti (Suffering, Flowing within you) _

_Fall of an angel  
_

No….no…this can't. This feeling regret? I feel as if I've been struck by lightning. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes, what have I done? Why did I give up my life? Why did I run away? Now tears fall freely down my face. I killed myself….I've did something that I swore I would never do. I let myself deliberately be weak. I fell in the darkness of my own sorrow ignoring those around me.

_Besando la tierra (Kissing the earth)  
Cayéndote, levantándote(Fall, Rise) _(AN sorry guys my Spanish level is only at IB Spanish SL aka Spanish III and I don't recognize the form but basically its some form of fall and rise if anybody knows the tense please tell me thanks!)

Even now they probably remember me; I haven't forgotten about them, I tried to cut the bonds with them. No luck they still hold strong. 4 long years later I find the err of my ways. So what if I was able to smile again, I would have learned once again. That is if I didn't foolishly try to ignore those who were worried about me, how blind was I? How did I fall so far into my self pity?

_Fluyendo dentro de ti (Flowing within you)  
Através de ti (Through you)  
Cuando te levantas, cuando estás triste (When you rise, when you are sad)  
Cuando lloras con la lluvia (You cry with the rain)  
_

I guess it is true I really did fall into the oblivion of my own lie. I choke back a sob. They did come back. They are still safe. They are happy now. Even without me in their lives. Life does move on. Not waiting for anyone. Who cares if you can find the mistakes in your life. You can't do anything about it. These types of mistakes…how can you learn anything about it? You can't. I fell into my lie. My lie has led me to my current despair. What else can I do but fall into another lie, a lie to create an illusion of peace. So I can die peacefully into the new lie I've unwillingly fallen into. But the tears won't stop, and neither will the rain stop from falling down.

* * *

ok sry everybody for the late update i came back frm tennis camp like thursday nite and i was sore all throughout yesterday and wasnt thinking straight. but here is the sequel im sure everyone wants to kill me but ive kinda hit a "block" i know how i want my story to go but im partially to lazy to write it... but DONT worry there will be another part...cause i just feel like this story needs closure...but im sure reviews will make me write the story faster so please review 

and btw the song i used is Rain One and i only used 1/2 the song and if you want i can send u a link to the song...or i can do sumthign so u can hear the song. its pretty cool! lol and thats another reason why i dont wanna write the last part cause then i feel like i have to use the second part of the song and that will be a bitch to do...anyway please review!!!!!

special thanks to:

_manialoll stands on chakra_

_chrystalized rain  
_

_Reader713_

_Kagomecutie11141990_

_Princess of Elements-Arianna A_

_Twilight's Truth_


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: i dont own naruto nor do i own cirque du soliel.

* * *

**_Realizations Chapter 2 _**

**_By SS6445 _**

* * *

_If oceans collide _

Sasuke POV

I was walking by the memorial to pay my respects to her. Tomorrow is her anniversary. It is one of the few things that Kakashi isn't late for. But I figured I'd visit her if there was no one around. She is….or was my weakness. I wanted to protect her, but in the end I was to late, to weak. My family died because I was late and to weak, and she died because I was to late. Why? Does life have meaning? I ask myself these questions without answers, stay up on sleepless nights thinking about what if?

What if she was still alive somewhere? But they brought back a body.

What if I didn't leave? Then maybe I wouldn't have been able to kill him.

What if I told her I loved her before I left? I have no answer.

Would she still be alive? Would she be here anxiously waiting for me everyday at home? Would I be happy?

Endlessly these questions plague my brain. Before I even know it I'm near the memorial. I see someone there, her aura is hauntingly familiar, but I can't place my finger on where I know it from. She is crying in the rain. The rain that can be seen as cleansing the earth from the sins we wrought upon it. But I know that she hated the rain. She said it reminded her of loneliness. But I don't know her, she is a stranger to me, what could I do to comfort her. So I turn around and leave.

_If the moon crossed the sun _

Sakura POV

I knew he saw me, but I don't care. It doesn't matter he wont recognize me. No one will. But of all the people to see first it had to be him. The one I miss the most. The one I would do anything for. Now that I think about it, fate is funny like that, I could have seen hundreds of other people in Konoha but I see the one person I didn't want to see. He has gotten handsomer. He always was. But now it seems like his rigid 'I got a giant tree stuck up my ass' attitude has partially disappeared. It seems like he is opening up to people now. And I am happy for him. But I hoped that since he is a genius and all that he would recognize my chakra, but then again its become changed like my DNA. Once upon a time years ago I would have loved this, but now it's a curse. Be careful what you wish for never rang truer.

Slowly I trudge my way back to Megumi's family's house. She is right, I should spend my last dying days here. The place where the two most important people to me are: Naruto and Sasuke. Even if they don't know I am here, I will act as their guardian angel, watching over them. I love them both so much, that it really does hurt that I can't see them.

_I'm wasting my breath _

Megumi POV

I know that Sakura is going to kill me for this, but they deserve to know the truth, Haruno Sakura faked her death and is still alive. Most importantly she is dying but here in Konoha. I practically run up the stairs to tell the Rokudaime, Uzumaki Naruto, Sakura's teammate and best friend. I can only hope he believes me. There is a good chance that he won't, considering her chakra, appearance, and DNA are all different. If they don't believe me then the one chance for Sakura to find peace might be gone. I will not let that happen.

_  
With no name and no one _

Sakura POV

Some things never change: kids still play and train to become ninjas without a care in the world. They don't know the horrors of killing others and seeing loved ones die. Women watch over their children, gossiping all the while. They know of horror but still manage to not run away.

I am out of place. I had a normal childhood and fit in with everyone. But now I don't have a kid to look over, no one to gossip to. And I ran away, because I was weak. No one pays any attention to me. And everything here is so familiar but different

_Silence of the sound _

Naruto POV

I am speechless. This….person in front of me is telling me that Sakura is still alive. I can't say anything. But that doesn't stop the thoughts from racing in my mind. She is still alive. Megumi, everything she said about me and Sasuke are true. Even things about Sakura that only I knew, she knows. I can't believe she is in Konoha, but she's dying. What to do. For running away I'm suppose to punish her. But she is dying, and doesn't want to let anyone know she is here. I really want to talk to her. But in the end, I think I'll just have to compromise with my feelings and her wishes. I think letting my Hokage duties slide by for once, just for this case is ok. I just have to make sure Sasuke doesn't hear about this, all hell would break loose. Not to mention he might be mad enough to try to really kill me. Again…..

_  
And the colors of the night_

Nights here in Konoha seem perfect in comparison to those of the border, its nice and warm. Again there's another full moon. Full moons just remind me of him. And its times like these is when I wish I could live longer, and go back. Go back and change my decisions, like leaving, falling in love with Sasuke, confessing my feelings to that unfeeling bastard. To do everything differently, be a different person altogether. One that does not hesitate, one that doesn't second guess their decisions, a person who is my complete opposite. Maybe then I wouldn't be dying, maybe then I wouldn't only have a year left to live.

_  
The sound from the thoughts _

Naruto POV

The village is quite, but not threateningly so. Usually I would welcome these types of nights, but not now. It gives me time to think. The wind blows the leaves around, making a rustling sound. Peaceful, but not. Commotion masked by a calm front. She's back, was she even planning on telling us. Was she going to confess to us her friends, her family, that she was alive after all this time. I'll give her a few months before I confront her. Until then she can live her little lie, but the truth will soon be revealed. Will you run away again? Will you accept us again? Will everyone else accept you? The question is: will HE finally tell you? What will he do?

_And the thought with no light _

Sasuke POV

She's gone. What is left of this life? I killed my brother. My mission accomplished. And she is gone. Gone because I couldn't protect her. Because I wasn't strong enough. And like my family she isn't going to come back. Why? Cause she is dead. Dead. Death, sorrow, loneliness. Those are the words that are associated with me. I have nothing left to live for. Nothing left to do, but live out my meaningless life for the sake of the village.

_The way I've been sinking _

Another day has passed by. Another day I am closer to my impending death. Its been 3 months, and I've seen all my old friends around Konoha. Its partially comforting to know that they are doing fine and are all happy. There are many couples, Shikamaru and Ino..they are expecting their first child soon. Neji and TenTen. Naruto and Hinata. The memorial is another story altogether; Lee, Asuma, and all the other shinobis that I use to know, their names mar the front of the stone. They are the heroes of Konhoa who fought bravely, my name is there….But—

_Amounted to the light _

I can't move!! My mind starts racing….do they think I'm an enemy? Do they recognize me? My hope soars at the thought.

"Are you Haruno Sakura?" The voice asks behind me. I know this voice..

"Yes….Naruto"

The next thing I know I feel his arms encircling me in a giant hug. It feels so good like this. I really did miss him.

_There's nothing but space _

Now there are so many unknowns right now, I bet Shikamaru couldn't even figure out what would happen next. Naruto called all the rookie 12 that was still alive and in the village. To meet here. To meet me again. Its so sad, I have to tell them what happened, the reasons why, and that I don't have long to live. Its perfect, I get to see all my friends again I can live in some peace. But Sasuke-kun is going to be here to. I wonder what his reaction is going to be.

_And the dove can't take flight _

Ino POV

She's back. I was in so much shock. She comes back from the dead, only to be taken back again. I knew when I took the mission that Sakura would be hurt, but not to the extent she actually was. She was hurting so much. I can't believe it. Sakura we all missed you, but I don't know what to tell you anymore. But did you know that Sasuke visits the memorial because of you, he is like a shadow of his old self, he goes on S-rank missions all the time. He is really starting to take after Kakashi, they are both on a death march, talking all those missions. I don't understand, Sakura you won. He loved you in the end, and came back, and you were one of the main reasons why he came back. But I suppose this is your time. Your time to make things right. Pease accept it, don't try to run away.

_Silence of the sound _

Sasuke POV

I don't know why I did that. I ran. She was alive this whole time. But she never tired to come back to Konoha this whole time. I can't help but think that maybe she isn't the same. Maybe she doesn't love me. Maybe I wish I did stay in Konoha. But for now run is all I can do. Run away from her. Run away from my fears that she is just an illusion. Run away from my fears that she doesn't love me anymore.

_And the colors of the night _

Sakura POV

Everyone was shocked to say the least of my sudden reappearance. And everyone accepted me again. But he didn't. The first thing he did was run away from me. I went through hundreds of possibilities in my mind of Sasuke-kun's reactions, but running away was never a possibility. But that hurts even more. I don't want to know it, but he changed. Maybe its true, he never loved me. He just came back because of Naruto this whole time. I still love him so much. I wish I stayed in Konoha. I wish that I stayed so I could have greeted Sasuke-kun at the front gates to welcome him back. But for now all I can do is look out my window, look at the stars shining down on us. And wonder why.

_The sound from the thoughts _

Naruto POV

Of all the worst case scenarios. This had to happen. All my hard work goes to waste. Well partially, everyone saw Sakura again, and she can maybe unburden herself from some of the guilt shes placed upon herself. But then again Sasuke-teme had to ruin it all and run away. That damn bastard isn't he suppose to be my ANBU captain, and not be afraid of anything. No, I can't blame him, if I was in his position, I don't even want to think about possibilities, hell I would have killed myself knowing that Hinata died like that and then came back to life just to die in front of me this time. Maybe I should have warned him. Maybe I shouldn't have let her back in our lives. Maybe I should have asked her. Maybe…..I hate that word.

_  
And the thought from the light _

Sakura POV

He came. He came back. This time he didn't need to be dragged back with Naruto's assistance. He came in the middle of the night. I still cant believe it. He came and told me he loved me. I can't help but wonder if it was a henge. My sense of chakra has become dull. Everything is becoming weaker. My body, my chakra, my life. But he loves me. He told me so. And I love him back.

_Fall of an angel  
Falling..._

Right now he is sleeping peacefully beside me. I think I can die of happiness, knowing that he is next to me. And he loves me. The trip back was worth it. But I'm sorry I can't stay. I wish I could. My eyes feel heavy. Its finally time to go. The world is wonderful. And I miss it already.

* * *

authors note: 

yes i kno i rushed it! i'm sorry but i didnt want you guys to wait til after i came back frm camp to read the rest of the story! i might do an alt ending thats better so idk it depends on how i feel lol but wow i felt a lot of 3 frm let me fall and realizations thanks!!! u guys gave me encouragement to write but idk but personally i liked no happy endings better than this story but obviously you guys think differently! well im thinking of a few new stories so sit tight they'll eventually come i promise!

ok questions:

i never really gave them an age cause it didnt matter in the story, but um idk...uh? next question

the song link of both let me fall and rain one frm realizations:

www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?vQ9Y1FvcWRh0

and of course Read and Review!!!! the more reviews i get the faster i write!!!

**special thanks to:**  
Moonwaterpetal  
kagomecutie11141990  
Crystalized Rain  
Twilight's Truth  
TellerOfLies


End file.
